naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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