piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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