omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
