We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im holly from the hills drunk
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
