my text book just quoted the cookie monster
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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