She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
