Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
