Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
