If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
