I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the day after is always just damage control
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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