you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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