the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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