the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
