Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
