The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
