well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
