I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
