NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
