I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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