YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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