So drunk its hurt
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
