also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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