I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
