I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
