The maid of honor just puked.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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