You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
