i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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