I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
