i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
