No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
