i was born a porn star she said
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
