im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
