so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
