So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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