I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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