You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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