How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
