And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
