did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
