the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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