i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you never un-have a 4some
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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