What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
