I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
