I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
