fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
