The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want nice things and good sex
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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