Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
