she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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