addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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