He is an equal opportunity slut.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
