Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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