garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
