If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
