I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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